Best Moustaches of All Time

Tom Macnab November 21, 2013 Comments Off

With Movember (men growing mustaches for awareness of prostate cancer) full in effect, I figured I would cover the best facial hair combos of all time.

3125a33d77a17a8678a51876d5b7a1e2Best Cowboy Stache: Sam Elliott

Everybody knows Sam Elliott as one of the great western actors of all time, but one thing that makes him stand out is his epic facial hair. Not only does it describe him as crusty, but also someone who should not be messed with. Even in the film “We Were Soldiers” where he didn’t even sport the soup strainer, its ghostly visage remained.

selleckBest Smooth Stache: Tom Selleck

In the 80’s with such shows as Miami Vice, A-Team and of course Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck showed up sporting a well trimmed but still full of substance mustache that all ladies swooned over. This stand alone stache was inspirational as most men would try to recreate the power it had over women, but fell too short in most cases.

Al-Leong-620x350Best Henchman Stache: Al Leong

You guys remember Die Hard, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Lethal Weapon right? You know that asian guy, he rocked the meat cleaver in Big Trouble in Little China. With his Hulk Hogan skullet and foo man choo mustache he is one of the most memorable baddies on the silver screen who’s expressions were the only lines needed to be delivered.

indexBest Historical Stache: Adolf Hitler

Bet you didn’t see this one coming. Yes, even though he is known as one of the most infamous men in history another thing he is remembered for is his smudge mark mustache. It is so famous, it was changed from the toothbrush mustache to the hitler stache. Now that’s infamy.


25069141Best Baseball Stache: Rollie Fingers

Much like Snively Whiplash in “Wacky Racers” this relief pitcher sported the mustache that made you think he would get arrested at some point for tying a damsel in distress to a railroad track as he twirled it maniacally.

dd_trebekBest Game Show Stache: Alex Trebek

Everybody knows the show Jeopardy and everybody knows the bushy mustache this host sported for decades. Even though it’s gone primarily because he wants to remain looking young, I feel this facial caterpillar needs a return appearance.


david-suchet-as-hercule-poirotBest Detective Stache: David Suchet

Even though many people, including Albert Finney, have played the famous Belgium detective David Suchet is most well known for the role. Starting his long run from 1989 until now, his little waxy upturn mustache makes him look a wee bit silly which throws the bad guy off and helps let his guard down.

162903711490777481ujBUFWzkcBest French Waiter Stache: Jackie Gleason

This pencil thin mustache is expected on a weasely frenchman but Jackie Gleason sports it with style and authority. Who would think that the Sheriff Beuford T. Justice woulds be associated with the french.


burt-moustache1Best Outlaw Mustache: Burt Reynolds

You knew this list wouldn’t be complete without The Bandit. With his cowboy hat, which he takes it off for one thing only, and that famous laugh he swooned women, drove fast, and rallied an entire community together. Now that’s mustache power.

ron-jeremyBest Porn Stache: Ron Jeremy

That’s right, the hedgehog himself. Just looking at it creeps you out and makes you remember the 70’s, but not in a good way. A celebrity in his own right, he broke away from porn and was found in multiple movies but everybody knows where his roots lie.

albert_einstein1946byfredstein12_350pxBest Brain Stache: Albert Einstein

That’s right, let’s get some learning in you. This German genius will always be known for coming up with some of the most amazing math formulas that will stand the test of time, but I think his power comes from his facial hair. Remember this guy failed math when he was younger.

W41  100Honorable Mention: Chuck Norris

With anecdotes about his beard I figured that he should get mentioned. If the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris shows those are some fantastic follicles.

With so many facial hair favorites out there I’m sure I’ve missed a few, but if I missed yours leave a comment. Remember that not everybody can pull these glorious looks off so much like drinking, use discretion.

Comments are closed.